One for the money, two for the road, goodbye honey, let’s blow that load! Why is it that all of my writing seems to have multiple interpretations lately? Please excuse me, and allow me to re-phrase this…
Like all the finer things in life, body armor is typically, “You get what you pay for.” I mean lets face it, if you were spending an anonymous night in Vegas, wouldn’t you rather trust your life to a Trojan, than go with the SHARMOOTAA brand? (PS: look it up, it’s Arabic) When it comes to protecting yourself from all things lethal, it’s important to go with a brand you trust, right?
Wrong. Sometimes it’s the brands that are new to us that are superior to the times of old. My belief was to always go with “what the military uses” because they did the research. Well, I know that this may come as a big shock as many of you, but sometimes our Government mis-spends our hard earned money that they’ve stolen from us via unconstitutional taxes, and spends it frivolously on pointless testing. That’s right, they’ve spent millions of dollars to “scientifically” test the typical ceramic plates.
In all fairness, I can understand how complex the testing really is. They have a lot of things to test for… like… does the bullet go through it? So they shoot a few million plates, label it with some fancy-shmancy term like Level IIIA approved” and pass the bill on to you so you can fund it yet again, should you ever choose to buy a vest to protect yourself from these tools.
Now this may sound a bit repetitive and redundant… but two is one, and one is none. You buy two guns, and backup parts for your firearms, so why haven’t you purchased two sets of body armor? Or have you even purchased one yet? A lot of people say that they don’t think they need body armor, yet they own guns. Ha! That’s like saying you got a dog, but you don’t need the dog food. The reality is that these two things go together like Trannies in Thailand. You can’t have one without accepting the other.
Well, most people don’t buy two sets of body armor because it’s too damn expensive. A full setup is $1,000 right? What if I told you that you could have two completed level 47+ABh-squared (my certification level) for less than the price of one? But wait, there’s more!
The reality is that steel body armor is becoming so much more cost effective for the average prepper… cue the choir… And now it’s available for around $450, and better than ceramic plates.
Ceramic plates have a shelf-life of 6-7 hits or one drop on a hard surface and they become as useless as Nancy Pelosi; and when the political defecate (pronounced “shit”), hits the oscillating blades, you need to have something that has a several-generation shelf-life.
Additionally, ceramics put off shrapnel when hit, much like your ceramic dish hitting the floor after your wife tells you to go clean up the garage. This means that if you’re unlucky enough to survive a bullet to the chest, you better have a medic on hand to pick the ceramic out of your chin and arms and sew you up with some kind of dilapidated facial-episiotomy-stitch… or better yet, just upgrade to steel now and reward yourself by procrastinating on finding that medic. Just follow our leadership and kick that can down the road.
Up until now, most steel armor is too heavy, and still sends shrapnel into your chin. Well the good news is that Infidel Body Armor has new anti-spall technology, meaning minimal risk for shrapnel. Their steel has stopped all handgun rounds, armor piercing rounds in .223, .308, and even stops 30-06! The best news is that it can be used over and over again. Since they are more interested in protecting preppers, than spending our government’s money on tea parties in Tunisia, they tested it themselves over, and over, and over, and over… and they can still offer it for half the cost of ceramic plates. Check out the proof for yourself:
So what’s the point of this? The plate is the same weight as most ceramic plates, has unlimited shelf-life, takes more than 6 hits, no spalling, and can be used for years and years of protection. Looks like body armor finally got an upgrade. Much like how the muslims discovered thousands of years ago that you can use the intestine of a sheep to prevent pregnancy, and years later the Americans discovered it was best to first remove the intestine from the sheep. Infidel Body Armor company has taken a look at the old way of doing things, and made it less painful for the poor sheep who has to lug the armor around.
(PS – If you’ve enjoyed this article, please share it with a friend, to help spread the word about The Prepper Project! Thanks! ~ Dave)